Friday, July 31, 2009

quotations i have created

below are the quotations i have created...
(since i read books sometimes :p and browse internet :p i might have been influenced by actual quotes...as far as i know they are all from my experience)
1) There is no such thing as a silent girl.

2) What is burnt are memoirs. What lives on are memories

3) There is no easy way to live a life. U simply have to live it.

4) Unrequitted love is the beginning of a life long love story

5) To the girl who does not care - I care.

6)If you cant handle people, ignore people.

more wil be updated soon...


Sunday, July 26, 2009

At this age, I shouldn’t be talking about girls. But what to do, I saw a complex assortment of girls, in the last few days; I simply couldn’t resist writing about them.

Yesterday when I was going to Adyar, I saw these two sexy, hot, muslim girls getting into the bus. One girl, was tall, wearing a salwar kameez, and she had rolled her duppattah over her head, as is the custam in Islam. The other girl was wearing a t-shirt, and a jean, and she rolled a shawl over her head. I couldn’t help noticing though; the t-shirt was sleeveless and too tight fitting for a girl endowed by nature. Anyways, the reason I am writing is not to talk about these girls. Just opposite, these two girls, sat few muslim women in burqah. One woman, hardly thirty, but probably married, and the responsibilities having aged her and making her look older, looked at these girls, and there was an instant smile in her face. As if she adored them. As if she was wishing all the happiness in the world for them. She kept staring at the girl, and her smile became beautiful. I have seen this often. Women -looking at young girls and feeling happy for them. Who says women are jealous?

This afternoon, when I went to the bus stand, in our office, I saw this girl – tiny, cute, and angelic, clad in white salwar kameez, trying to pull down the branch of a tree. Being a Sunday afternoon, there was nobody else in the bus stand. She was jumping up and down. I didn’t want to disturb her natural exuberance, so I went and sat such that my back faced to her. Ofcourse my presence had disturbed her. She stopped playing and just strolled. Anyways, when the bus came, we got into it. This being a lucky day, she sat in two seats in front of me. I saw her holding in her hand, a small bouquet she had made, with leaves and flowers she had collected from the tree. Oh! That’s why she was jumping up and down. The fact made her look beautiful in front of me, I don’t know why?

It doesn’t take much for a woman to look beautiful. She just has to be herself.

This evening, when I was coming back from a tea, I saw this girl, sitting on a motorbike, holding the handles, and moving it slightly little, as if she is going to kickstart the bike. She was a tiny girl, so I thought she probably was just playing around. But she sat like an experienced biker. I couldn’t help looking at her, wondering if she is going to ride, or she is going to get down. But she was just adjusting the bike, moving it a little to the road by her hands, by sitting on it. I noticed she hadn’t removed the side stand, and I called to her – stand. She looked at me and didn’t reply. I called to her and indicated the stand. She said – theriyum( I know). What could I say. She had no intention to ride at all. L.

And I saw this girl, walking opposite by me. She didn’t even look at me. Long ago we were friends. Now all she gives the impression is – All my friends bitch behind my back. And you don’t. You like me instead. So how can I be your friend?

I just need to nod right? I cannot be her friend, if that is her criteria. L

Funnily the two women I like in my life don’t talk to me because I like them. Funny isn’t it!!!

Friday, July 24, 2009

ideal partner



who is an ideal partner?
ten years ago, i used to think it would be a tall, beautiful, girl ( the complexion kept fluctuating depending on whom i was searching on net - cameroon diaz or naomi campbell or jennifer lopez, or julia roberts or halle berry). but tall was a definite key word in my search for an ideal girl. Ofcourse i loved girls who were lady like - i mean sophisticated and complicated and mysterious. But when i fell in love, i fell in love with a short, fat girl. Not exactly fat, but yeah i used to tease her often, as i do all girls, who are fatter than me. he he. anyways.....
i realise now, i never loved her. I liked the idea that i could find a girl who is unsophisticated, uncomplicated, and whom i can double guess on almost everything, to the extent that i know what would she say when i say a random word. To me probably that was like a power. Infact thats why she keeps her silence.....
anyways why am i saying that....
and this realisation has made me look deeper and understand what kinda girl i need...
and i see....my definition has become practical....

it is very simple......
if i am going to live with a person for the rest of my life.... i just want her to be understanding.....
no its not as simple as that....

when i look at a girl who interests me, i ask myself...were i to be married to her ....and say ten years into our marriage we have a fight...a very serious fight.....a deal breaker kind of fight....how would i like her to react...would she, after the fight we have, come and lay her arms around me, and say - dear, we need to talk it over more coolly.....or would she make the dinner as usual, sleep with me in the night and pretend in the morning as if nothing happened, or would she say - get lost loser, and move on, taking her things out the very night. Ofcourse i dont want her to do any of the three things.
I would just know what she would do...when i look at her....
and still waiting for such a girl

Saturday, July 11, 2009

this too will pass by one day...i tell myself....

At this time of the year, for the last four years, I usually end up being in an emotional turmoil. I remember her birthday, and varied emotions run through my soul, as i keep trying to meet up with her on her birthday. I send her a message, asking her to come for a lunch with me, or the least talk to me, and in reply she always displays an obssessive nonchalant silence, which pierces through my heart, wounding me, and pushing me closer to insanity.

I dont know what i like in her.

It also could be my inability to like anybody else ( how could i like anybody else, if every gesture of every girl, merely reminds me of her. every word spoken by anybody reminds me of her. Everything abt everybody reminds me of her. In short i see not the world as everybody else sees it, but just i see her in the entire world and the entire world to me, just means her).

I am stupid i know, because, she has made it clear she does not love me. But is that good enough reason for me to forget her. yes says my brain, but in night, this very brain which conjures up reasons to forget her, fills every inch of my dream with her sillhouttes. What can i do? how do i forget her.

I know i cannot. and like every year, i will go through a depression. lose a month in nothingness. Spoil my health. stop talking to everybody. stop working. drink. start saying stupid things. make stupid plans. whatever. whatever.

and after her birthday, for another week, this myriad emotions will continue.

I will keep thinking abt her, in short, ever second, for twenty four hours a day, for the whole month. And when the month passes by, i will forget her. and things will return to normalcy. I will go back to work. start doing normal things.

ofcourse now and then somebdoy will remind me of her, and i will endear sadness for couple of hours......

but for now.....
i am hoping for the month to pass by....


this too will pass by one day...i tell myself....

for now...i still love u....and i really dont know how i can find meaning in my life without u........
Pandian