small things of life

like most other canteen in colleges and institutes, our canteen is also bad. the funny thing is everybody complains abt it but nobody does anything abt it. my friend had an interesting theory - he said, tamilians are easily satisfied. all they need for food is sambhar and rice - good or bad, and they will be satisfied. and since the management and majority of employees are tamils, they do nothing abt it.
yes, he is indeed right.
and i take pride in that sentence, that, as a tamilian, it doesnt take a lot out of life, to keep me satisfied. what is that i expect in life - three meals, two children and one wife...not necessarily in that order. :p
no matter what great work i do, or no matter how badly i do in life, if i know back at home, there will be a beautiful wife waiting for me, my children playing and waiting and fighting, my days will be beautiful.
what else i need in life...
i am a simple man. i do no understand ambition, success or failure, politics and statemanship. i cant understand complex things of life. i dont want to.
i understand happiness and pain. i understand happiness is better than pain. and i understand less is more.
so all i seek is to be satisfied with a simple life....
is it ok to want less...i dont know. but i let it be

some sweet recollections

well, over the last two months, i traveled to orissa, delhi and west bengal. it had been awesome over the stretch of my travel....
so i thought let me put down few of the most memorable moments on my blog...
1)i had just come down from delhi and i was waiting for bus to go to home...i had a sling bag, a back pack bag, a travel bag, and a mickey mouse doll - feet and a half tall. i had put the bags in a heap on the road and had let the doll rest on the top. there were many buses passing by. from one of them, i saw this beautiful girl, looking out of the window. she saw the mickey mouse and her eyes began a smile that ended with her lips. as bus moved her eyes stayed fixed to the doll. i was enjoying the sheer bliss in her eyes. suddenly she realised i was enjoying her enjoying the sight of my doll, and she gave a part of the smile that was meant for the doll to me....it was really sweet
2) when my bus came, it took me an effort to haul the bags into the bus. there was this old lady sitting in the bus, who helped me settle comfortably. then she enquired whther i was going out....i replied no...i coming back home.....and then she started blessing me...and wished me all success in life....that was touching
3)i was travelling from kharagpur to kolkotta. when i was listening to my mom, i put my hands on my chin, as if to indicate i was thinking. a samosa vendor, who was passing by, he came and pushed my hand aside,and said - sir, u should not worry. here u have to pay fine if u worry only then u can pay money to buy samosa. importantly no worries. if u worry u have to pay a fine. he smiled and left. it was so heart warming
4)i was kinda feeling lonely and jittery before my first talk in a conference at delhi. two tamil friends, they said, hey pandian, tell me the time of ur talk we will be there for u. and though they bunked all other talks...they were there for me. that was very wonderul of them. and my friends from warangal they were also there....it was nice....
5)i was at orissa, dancing in my friend's baraat. another friend wih whom i had gone there, who was dancing ( the best dance i had seen in my life ) watched me dance, was constantly looking out for me...taking care of me...so that i am not lost in the crowd...that was touching
6)in delhi, i was staying at my friends place to attend his brother's marriage. one morning i had to start early to go for a workshop. his uncle, who had also just got up, insisted i have breakfast and asked his another nephew to drop me to the station
very caring...
my friend's brother took care of me like his own brother...very warm


list will continue in future post

where does ur freedom end....

before i start talking about the issue on hand let me make two things clear
a) i am a strong supporter of individual's freedom. everybody has a right to do anything and everything, if it doesnt interfere with other person's freedom.
b) i believe in religious tolerance. though i am an atheist, i still believe that it gives me no right to mock at people. i respect all religion, their beliefs, and so on. Actually often i am dazed and wonder at the simplicity of such beliefs.

So coming to the issue at hand...
day before yesterday i was coming from bhubneswar to chennai. I had gone there to attend a marriage of my friend. we had stayed all night and had slept only in the morning. so when we finally got into the train, at 10 in the night, we were tired and just kicked the sack.
i dont what time it was, must be between two to four in the morning, when we heard lot of noise. The sabarimala devotees, making their annual pilgrimage, got into the train, shouting " saami saranam....."
It was to say the least - irritating.
When morning i got up, having hardly slept, i find all the devotees sprawled all over the coach. they did not have confirmed ticket. ofcourse it is legal to get into a train with a wait listed ticket, but so many of them? OFcourse giving inconvenience to the fellow mankind is never a thought in their mind, after all converse only with GOD!!!
notwithstanding the fact that our dear lalu had introduced a seat between the side upper and side lower, making each coach little more crowded, these people occupied every single space left - the places beteen the seats, the places between two thin people, the places where one guy has gone to the upper berth to catch a nap.....every possible seat.....
and top it up with the noise.....
and as if it was not enought that they disturbed the sleep in the night, when we went to sleep in the afternoon, their enchanting prayer to god, cajoled us to wake up!!!!!
thank u god
thank u devotees

what am i doing...

for defending my concept of friendship, i alienate my friends....
for defending my concept of honesty, i hurt my dearest...
for defending my concept of justice, i show no mercy to the dying...
for defending my rights, i snatch away others'...
for proving i am right, i prove everybody else wrong...
what am i doing...
who has given me the right to decide, what is right, what is wrong...

We'll See...

There is a Taoist story of an old farmer who had worked his crops for many years. One day his horse ran away. Upon hearing the news, his neighbors came to visit.
"Such bad luck," they said sympathetically.
"We'll see," the farmer replied.
The next morning the horse returned, bringing with it three other wild horses.
"How wonderful," the neighbors exclaimed.
"We'll see," replied the old man.
The following day, his son tried to ride one of the untamed horses, was thrown, and broke his leg. The neighbors again came to offer their sympathy on his misfortune.
"We'll see," answered the farmer.
The day after, military officials came to the village to draft young men into the army. Seeing that the son's leg was broken, they passed him by. The neighbors congratulated the farmer on how well things had turned out.
"We'll see" said the farmer.


- zen philosophy
taken from - http://goto.bilkent.edu.tr/gunes/ZEN/zenstories.htm

my rendition of pablo neruda

pabloneruda.mp3

relationship!!!!funnily more people confuse the name of a relation with relationship.and i look at them verily, smiling to myself, and shaking my head in disbelief.i remember, one sweet girl, who saw a number of rakhi in my hand, and said - how lucky....i dont have a brother to whom i can tie. i said - hey, u can tie it to me. and she refused. not that she was in love with me. but, she understood the meaning of relationship. i was her friend. nothing more. nothing less.that night i thought about what she did. it made sense. if she calls me as my husband, i wouldnt become her husband. if she calls me brother, why does society insist that yes i am her brother. the logic system is contrived to suit our needs.and the main issue that bothers two individual is the name of a relation. if i am in love with a girl, why is it that she has to be my lover. lover is a name. when i love a girl, there is more to it than the tag.when i am happy and succesful, i want her to be my friend, rejoicing with me, celebrating.when i am sad and dejected, i want her to be my mother, supporting and consoling.when i am unsure of a decision, want a long talk, i want her to be my sister/brother...talking to me, understanding mewhen i do wrong, i want her to be my father. to show anger at me, to direct me, to show me the right path.i want her to be herself, everytime i am myself.everytime i want love, i want her to love me.and everytime, i dont want to call her by a different name. becuase it really does not matter if i call her mother, father, brother, sister, lover, she simply is the girl i love. i just want her to be there for me.....whew!!!

relationship!!!!funnily more people confuse the name of a relation with relationship.and i look at them verily, smiling to myself, and shaking my head in disbelief.i remember, one sweet girl, who saw a number of rakhi in my hand, and said - how lucky....i dont have a brother to whom i can tie. i said - hey, u can tie it to me. and she refused. not that she was in love with me. but, she understood the meaning of relationship. i was her friend. nothing more. nothing less.that night i thought about what she did. it made sense. if she calls me as my husband, i wouldnt become her husband. if she calls me brother, why does society insist that yes i am her brother. the logic system is contrived to suit our needs.and the main issue that bothers two individual is the name of a relation. if i am in love with a girl, why is it that she has to be my lover. lover is a name. when i love a girl, there is more to it than the tag.when i am happy and succesful, i want her to be my friend, rejoicing with me, celebrating.when i am sad and dejected, i want her to be my mother, supporting and consoling.when i am unsure of a decision, want a long talk, i want her to be my sister/brother...talking to me, understanding mewhen i do wrong, i want her to be my father. to show anger at me, to direct me, to show me the right path.i want her to be herself, everytime i am myself.everytime i want love, i want her to love me.and everytime, i dont want to call her by a different name. becuase it really does not matter if i call her mother, father, brother, sister, lover, she simply is the girl i love. i just want her to be there for me.....whew!!!

i look back at my old friend, who asked me a certain question...in alchemist, the boy- the protagonist is in love with the baker's daughter. for sometime, that is the only thing that means anything in his life. then he goes on a journey, in a way for hersake - a search..or any metaphor that could replace dream, meaning of life, or whatever.
in the middle of his quest, he meets this another girl, and he is ready to forsake his journey.
so, the question is - which of the two is true love in his case...

i dont know why she asked me that question. probably in this question there was an answer she was searching for herslf....i dont know....today this question means a lot to me....in it lies my salvation??? ( bahut bari shabd eh? kya kare..."lage raho.." jo dekh liya maine........)

i dont understand these days

i dont understand the things that goes around me....
one day i hate a girl so much that i decide i will never ever talk to her, and the next day, i am arranging a surprise birthday party for her.
one day i am telling everybody, i have no crush on so and so, next day, i am ringing her door on every pretext, and her thoughts haunt for another few days...
one day i decide i will help not help somebody, next day i leave my job to sit and help for that person leaving the job i have at hand. the persons i used to hate, now i love them. person's whom i used to love, i hate them. persons i thought are very caring and understanding, are not so. the person i thought were cold hearted, seem to have a genuine caring heart.
nothing that seems is what they seem to be. everything is an illusion, my philosophy is reinforced.
i try not to interpret people. i try not to understand them. but i keep thinking abt them.
if people are good or if people are bad, why should it bother me.....
if i love them....i should love them..,.wther they are good or bad...then why do i so often complicate my thinking...
is it because i am still a humanbeing